“but what do I DO about my loneliness?”

Several folks in our last two Conversations on Loneliness asked this question.

And it is a great question. 

We posed one idea, and then another. 

The first is, what if the goal wasn’t to straight away “fix it” (read: avoid it) but instead get curious about how and what your feelings or circumstance is? 

Perhaps you are willing/able to sit in some discomfort so that you learn you can tolerate it.

Then a process of discernment can start. 

You might ask yourself:

• Is this loneliness? 

• Is this aloneness? Solitude?

• Am I sad about something or disappointed or bored? 

Once you have a clearer sense of what it is you are experiencing, you may feel ready to experiment with some action (or inaction) that moves you closer to connection. Or towards belonging. 

Here is one idea. Make a list of possibilities (remember there are no bad ideas in brainstorming). The list should include things you can do or things you need not do any longer because they aren’t serving your goal of connection (example: isolating yourself).

Remember we live in a culture that favors action and fixing over feeling and being - it's up to you to determine what nourishes you and honors your capacity for either connection or loneliness.  

We hope you’ll join us for our next Conversation on Loneliness, where we’ll explore The Myths of Loneliness.

In connection,

Beth and Brett

Co-founders of The Loneliness Lab