Loneliness touches everyone
Greetings, fellow loneliness lab partners,
People are talking…and the Conversations on Loneliness are fully underway.
As with any experiment, there’s a hypothesis. Perhaps, in our case, also a bit of confirmation bias. Beth and I believed that experimenting with loneliness through conversation would open the door to vulnerable, thoughtful, and deeply engaging dialogue; conversations that create connection. By our calculations, the lab combusted in the best possible way.
What we discovered is this: loneliness touches everyone. It can be experienced in isolation or within a group. It is deeply personal, yet profoundly shared. Many participants described loneliness as “a familiar feeling” and expressed that this was a conversation that needed to happen.
A colleague recently sent me a BBC article titled Why do I feel so lonely even though I’m surrounded by people? I love the title, and the research and insights within it, because it captures something I have personally experienced and, for a long time, struggled to understand.
If you aren’t alone, how can you feel so lonely?
Loneliness is a feeling I once judged myself for. But as an 80’s teen who grew up listening to The Smiths, whose music catalog feels like a dissertation on loneliness, and whose lyrics are the embodiment of isolation and confusion:
“If you’re so funny, why are you on your own tonight?”
“Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me…”
“Sixteen, clumsy and shy, that’s the story of my life”
and after growing up a bit, and studying psychology, that confusion eased, and I began to understand that this experience is not a contradiction…it’s human.
The article affirmed much of my own experience, and much of what emerged in our first conversation around What Is Loneliness. It also serves as a beautiful prelude to our next gathering: The Layers of Loneliness. An exploration of the embodied, existential, and situational layers that collide over time. These layers are felt uniquely by each of us, yet shared across humanity. With more than eight billion people on the planet, loneliness remains a universal human experience.
Our next conversation invites us to go deeper. Your presence, reflections, and contributions allow us to explore with greater vulnerability, curiosity, and understanding. As a lab devoted to curiosity, creation, and combustion, we hope these discussions don’t just stay in talk, but help us discover thoughtful ways to soften loneliness and build layers of connection through action.
If you joined us for our first conversation, we hope you’ll continue exploring with us. If you’re new to The Loneliness Lab, we invite you to join the conversations! They are free and you can sign up as early as 5 minutes before we start.
This project is still coming into being, and it doesn’t happen without your voice, your wonderings, or your lived experience. Thank you to everyone who has already signed up for the newsletter, and to those joining us for what comes next.
As we continue this exploration, know that we(Brett and Beth) are deeply inspired to research, reflect, and learn alongside you at The Loneliness Lab.
-Brett
